leaving Tas

I lived in Tasmania for two years. And what a 2 years it was. From turning up naive and fresh to being part of the longest running blockade in Tasmanian history, I grew a lot, saw a lot, felt a lot and found a new way of relating to the world. I experienced so many things, but unfortunately, I cannot recall many of them, and the ones that I can, I can’t reliably place then in chronological or even thematic order. Just bits and pieces. This saddens me.

4 weeks ago I left the island. I felt like I was heading towards an explosion. The rage and frustration building up inside of me were leading to self destructive behaviour and I could even see the effect I was having on the people I love.

If you are reading this then there is probably a good chance you are one of those people I love so dearly. Let me say, I already miss you. I love you. I will be back.

I’m in Aotearoa/New Zealand. One reason I chose to come here was to get away from Tas. I love that island but everyday is pain knowing what happens on her. I personalise the landscape destruction too much. I dream of clearfells and find it hard to see the good in the world when I face a society that can do that to a place so pure, perfect, free, wild and true.

I was drinking too much. I had become numb to the pain but internalising it, and felt i needed to drink to get in touch with my own feelings. This was not good.

I wanted to get away from the Dole. Free money each fortnight was just going on booze. I wanted to quit, but it is so hard to break an addiction. I came to NZ because I can’t get the dole here and will have to look after myself properly.

I also came because NZ has beautiful forests, climate and people. I’ve wanted to come here for a while. I almost came here when I decided to move to Tas, but the debts I had in Oz stopped me. Here I am now. Got a Tax File number, a bank account, a SIM card, I’m ready to go.

And so begins another chapter in my story.

I’m keeping a very brief diary this time, so that I can remember, or trigger memories of what’s happening.

Thank you so much Tasmanians. I left without a to-do, it felt like running when the island needs me most, but I’m no good exploded. I’ll be ok over here, you’ll win over there, and it will all be good.

 

Love you all

 

Michael

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2 comments

  • Hello Magoo,
    Good luck and I love you.
    Aunty Jen

    Like

  • Hey Michael,

    You have made a brave move, good on you for realising the path you ended up on and that you had to get off it. You have helped Tassie so much, she loves you and will always welcome you back! The time you are spending in NZ now will bring you what you need, if you put it out there..

    Look forward to seeing you back in Tas land, when the time is right!

    Take good care of yourself,

    Love Clare

    Like

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